Katharine and Caleb Mittel | June 20, 2025 | Winston-Salem, North Carolina

For years, I planned weddings of every size imaginable. Two hundred guests, elaborate timelines, packed dance floors, full weekends of events—you name it, I’ve seen it. And if you had asked me back then what my own wedding would look like, I probably would’ve described something very similar. But when it came time to plan my wedding, something shifted.

I got married this past June in my parent’s backyard, with just 14 people. No grand venue, no massive production, just family, intention, and space to be fully present with one another.

By choosing an intimate celebration, the focus stayed exactly where it belonged: on us as a couple. There was no pressure to manage logistics for a large guest count, no rushing from moment to moment. Instead, the day unfolded slowly, meaningfully, and with so much heart.

So we chose intimate—and it was one of the best decisions we made.

Letting Go of the “Shoulds”

Weddings come with a lot of expectations. Family expectations. Industry expectations. Social media expectations. There’s a quiet pressure to invite everyone you’ve ever loved, worked with, or crossed paths with—just in case.

At some point, I had to ask myself a simple question: Who do I truly want in the room when we say our vows?

Not who I felt obligated to invite. Not who it would be awkward to leave out. But who felt essential to that moment.

Once we reframed the guest list that way, the decision became clear.

What Intimate Gave Us That Big Never Could

Because the guest list was small, we were able to fill the day with moments that felt deeply personal.

We wrote and shared personal vows without distraction. We dug up a bottle of bourbon that had been buried exactly one month prior and passed it around for everyone to take a sip, and yes, even our vendors joined in. It felt less like a production and more like a gathering of people who genuinely knew and loved us.

We shared private first dances. We had extra time for family photos without feeling rushed. My dogs wandered freely through the backyard, popping in and out of moments like they belonged there—because they did.

Dinner was a six-course, intimate experience shared around the table with family. Between courses, each person gave a toast. There were happy tears, uncontrollable laughter, and that rare feeling of time standing still.

We dined like the Italians—slowly, intentionally—until midnight. And somehow, even with all that time together, the night still flew by.

The Emotion Hits Different

This was the part I didn’t fully anticipate.

When you’re surrounded only by your closest people, the emotion in the room is undeniable. There’s an intimacy that can’t be manufactured. The vows feel heavier. The laughter louder. The tears more honest.

There’s something incredibly grounding about looking around and knowing every single person is there because they know you.

A Planner’s Perspective

As a wedding planner, I’ll be the first to say: there is absolutely nothing wrong with a large wedding. Big celebrations are joyful, electric, and unforgettable in their own way.

But intimate weddings are not a compromise.

They are a choice.

A choice to prioritize connection over capacity. Experience over expectation. Meaning over momentum.

And for many couples, they allow for a level of intentionality and personalization that simply isn’t possible at a larger scale.

If You’re Considering Going Smaller

Here’s what I’ll tell you—planner to couple, heart to heart:

Your wedding should feel like you.

If that means a packed dance floor and a 12-piece band, amazing. If it means a candlelit dinner with your closest people, that is just as powerful.

Don’t let size define significance.

Some of the most beautiful weddings I’ve ever experienced—my own included—weren’t measured by guest count, but by how deeply they were felt.

And intimate? It’s just as good. If not better.

If you’re navigating wedding planning and unsure what size celebration is right for you, I’d love to help you think through it intentionally. Reach out anytime—this is exactly the kind of conversation I love having.